Monday, March 1, 2010

Facebook Status Updates are Hilarious

Disclaimer: I intend for the following post to merely be a humorous reflection on status updates, and not a personal indictment of anyone . . . I hope no one feels implicated, as my only intention is to talk about how incredibly funny some people's status updates are . . .

Have y'all seen those funny little op-ed's about the different types of Facebook status updates? I've read a couple of them, recognize most of the types, and think that the best examples of them are riotously funny. Here are some stock types of status updates I regularly see among my Facebook friends:

1. My baby has been napping for an hour and 40 minutes!!!
I mean, admittedly, I adore babies and frequently want to hear all the ridiculous details about my friends' babies. I want to buy clothes for them, and hold them, and read books to them, and hear about when they reach milestones (their first words, when they start walking). However, these mundane baby status updates are pretty hilarious in their . . . utter irrelevance to everyone in the world except perhaps the baby-in-question's parents. :)

2. 4 mile run in 38 minutes!
I can't tell if these updates are an attempt at bragging, or if the perpetrators of this type of update are just using Facebook as an exercise log.

3. Facebook User is bored.
And apparently writes boring status updates.

4. I really hope that some people who are SO inconsiderate and don't even bother communicating how they feel come to realize how hurtful they are . . .
Oh man . . . these poor souls write this vague status update for 724 "friends" to read, but really they only intend it for the one offender about whom they are writing. Who may never even see this particular status update. Bless their hearts.

5. Don't even get me started on East Coast fools who write tv-spoilers for us West Coasters who are three hours earlier! Jason Andersen, I'm talkin' to you! :) I beseech you, ESTers: Don't tell me whether Jake picks the skipper or the skank in your status update this evening! I won't know until 1 am your time! ;)

Someone should really do a status update experiment and type things like "had a one-night stand with my boss last night . . . he has some issues with impotence," or "had fun with the faucet in the bath tub tonight" . . . at least they'd be more interesting than so-and-so is bored. ;)

Also, how do y'all feel about being friends with your exes on Facebook? I'm "friends" with most of mine . . . some of them don't bother me, Facebook is constantly "recommending" that I "reconnect" with others (ugh), one de-friended me as soon as his wife joined facebook, and another, whom I only recently became friends with, is tagged in pictures almost daily . . . and my masochistic curiosity forces me to look at all of them (and subsequently analyze with what meaning his arm is draped around some girl, etc.). Is it worth it??

In other news, check out the beautiful daffodils Diana gave me last week--they've finally bloomed and they're so lovely!! AND she brought them to me in a Mason jar, which reminds me of home. I love Diana! AND daffodils!


Cheryl said...

Raul and I love to read (and make fun of) the status updates that show up when any of his Modesto peeps are heading to the city to shop, frequent the tourist traps, and head back. "Going to the city tomorrow! Hitting up Forever 21 and the Cheesecake Factory! Hella psyched!" or "Going to SF! Can't wait for Nordstroms and Hooters!" or "Rainforest Cafe tomorrow- who's in? It's been too long!" LOVE IT. So sad, though, that they miss out on the real city...

Jenn said...

No! to being friends with exes on Facebook! Only ok if you have clearly moved beyond your relationship and have established a friendship or if the relationship happened so long ago that at this point you are just nosing around for simple curiosity's sake. Otherwise it just gets icky.

One one of my friends asked my ex if we were going to become Facebook friends after I joined and his brilliant, honest response was, "No because then I might find out things I don't want to know." Too bad we all don't have that restraint, right?

Single said...

You know my thoughts on the ridiculous one needs to know when people have to pee, or that you didn't get sleep, and that your baby took a nap! my thoughts...I use the bathroom daily, I walk daily, I burp daily, and I sleep daily...but if we didn't have these absurd friends on facebook, it would be one less thing we could joke about and the jokes have gotten pretty funny! Love the Parker Family-Lane, Kingsley, and Buhgey Monster

And as you know I get delete happy and I delete the exes!

Claire Kiefer said...

1. Cheryl--that shit CRACKS ME UP. "Rainforest Cafe tomorrow, who's in??" HA! Do we even have a Rainforest Cafe in SF?
2. Jenn--You're right. I need to delete.
3. Lane--amazing that your blogger name is "Single." hahaha!

bunnie said...

daffodils must ALWAYS be in a mason jar:-)