Friday, May 14, 2010


Those of y'all who actually know me know that I'm obsessed with two Hollywood ladies.

One because she's adorable:

Seriously, what I'd give to have a kid that cute one day. I can't get enough of her. She's the prettiest little thing around, and she has an enviable wardrobe at 4 years old (yes, y'all . . . Suri turned 4 in April. Doesn't time fly)?

And one because she's grotesque:

I'm really sort of obsessed with the Cat Woman, Jocelyn Wildenstein. (Click on Cat Woman for Mayra's post that inspired me to post an homage to The Lion Queen). For a while, I was reading all up on her and poring over her life and making everyone I know look at pictures of her. She's so fascinating . . . in a terribly tragic sort of way. Did you know that she's reportedly spent 4 MILLION DOLLARS on plastic surgery? And that she asked her surgeon to make her look feline to play to her then-husband's tastes? Man oh man. I am so fixated on her that I even wrote a poem about her for my Wednesday night Cobras poetry/dinner/wine group:


Bride of Wildenstein, your gaze

interrupts the sun—eyes drawn up to nowhere

some unimaginable constellation

Hercules strangled him because

Leo’s hide was unpuncturable by stone,

if you tried to think of a million ways to die—

Everything is some shade of yellow. Every day

is Tuesday. There’s a sweet synchronicity

to the way 7 o’clock exhales in surrender:

Okay, it’s over, you can rest. Lie down, sleep,

it’s all right if you die a little bit. Your skin

is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen.

The Eiffel Tower is slowly crumbling.

I swear I heard this dragonfly talking—shrillest

pitch—said her face is aglow with

radioactive heat. Please believe me—

I saw you at a café with your son. He looks at you

with a tender fear, jaundiced

in your shadow. Butterflies abuzz

swarm your head in awe. This is our landing patch.

This is our blonde mausoleum. This is

the most beautiful tragedy

That's my unedited ode to Jocelyn . . . maybe I'll have to write a whole series about her. I kind of love her. And fear her. Mostly, though, I fear her.

Happy Friday! I'm off to 21st Amendment and then to the Giants' game with my peeps--yay weekend!


Tara said...

suri is gorgeous! now, jocelyn, she's a trainwreck for sure!

Diana Mieczan said...

Suri is such a little lady! I love her too and I hope you are going to have a blast with the other teachers watching a game and having a drink!
Kisses my dear!

passport in my pocket said...

have a great time at the Giants game!!!

love Suri too :) she is precious.

shari @ little blue deer said...

Suri is such a lovely little girl (though I'm not TOTALLY sold on the heels!). Poor Jocelyn. Your poem was really nice, because it's really just tragic and sad. So glad you stopped by Little Blue Deer so I could find you, I'm definitely following! XO!

Mackenzie {Design Darling} said...

this cracked me up! the cat lady is downright terrifying — but suri is sooo cute! those pigtails kill me. more suri outfit inspiration is a must! hope you're having a great weekend :)

hiking in stilettos said...

This is simultaneously the most random yet hilarious thing I have ever read! I am with you on the fear part...

drollgirl said...

oh dear. i am trying to decide which one is the bigger freak! bah!

well obviously it is jocelyne wildenstein. that lady. did you read the vanity fair article about her from several years ago? it is quite the read.

and i daresay that little well-dressed monster suri might end up as crazy as ms. wildenstein with her lunatic parents, crazy religion, media scrutiny, etc. that kid is DOOMED.

Jen said...

Hey, I just came across your blog and saw you are a teacher. I'm about to enter the teaching profession as an English teacher, grades 7-12!

Cute post, Suri is adorable! Have a fantastic rest of the weekend! :)

Annie Cristina said...

Suri is so, so cute! As for the Cat Lady... Whoa.

Thanks for your kind comment! I'm also a high school teacher, so I can definitely relate to your blog. :-)

Christy said...

Egad! That tiger woman is G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S!!!


But seriously... That's gonna give me nightmares!

Len♥reNeverM♥re said...

suri is so cuuute!
on the other hand Lady tigress, "why?!!!"

Erika said...

So yeah...I told my mom last year that I wanted to be Suri. I mean, she has basically the greatest life ever and she is absolutely gorgeous - at the age of 4!! :)

its simple love said...

Wow. I was saying "owe" on the first one to Suri, then "Agh!" in the second. i was not expecting that second person of interest to be her. But yes, quite fascinating. I haven't heard of Jocelyn. I am sure she will haunt my dreams tonight though.


chelsea rebecca said...

suri is just OH SO CUTE!!!
but i am literally shocked.. SHOCKED at the other woman.. ahhhh. so scary. and sad!!

Lillian Chang said...

Oh wow, Suri is the MOST adorable little girl ever!! Seriously, she's even cuter than Angelina & Brad's kid. She's got the light eyes, the dark hair, and the perfect features. Adorable, adorable girl.
And I had no idea about the Cat Woman...that's so crazy! I like that poem you wrote (you've got such a way with words!! :)
So enjoying your blog here!! :)

Alicia said...

oh lady...suri is a doll...and the cat woman, well, i know exactly what you mean! you just know there's an amazing story behind how she got there!

bananas. said...

i can't lie, you're obsessions freak me out! cat woman, for obvious reasons. but suri...suri was like a test tube baby made to be the "perfect child" except she is far from it.

first, her father is gay. hello! all of hollywood knows it. two, her mother is lacking in any and all personality. three, she's 4 friggen years old!!! heels on a 4 year old is just weird! and four, there are wayyy more cute kids out there.

sorry. kinda. lol.

Anonymous said...

suri is too cute! and with heels!
such a nicer sight than cat woman.

Melanie's Randomness said...

Suri is absolutely adorable, I agree. To even have some of her wardrobe...I'm so envious. hehe. Even her shoes are adorable!!! The other lady........thats why I will never get plastic surgery!!! AHHH!!!

Meghan said...

I, too, am loving Suri - I cannot wait to see what a heartbreaker she becomes!

Savvy Gal said...

Suri is adorable. As for the Lion Lady, her plastic surgeon should be prosecuted....

Anonymous said...

i am in love with suri too! she's so cute!! :)

Busy Bee Lauren said...

I love Suri. She is precious!

And hello...that lady is SCARY! hahaha

Heather Taylor said...

Oh Suri and her little heels, she's the cutest kid in Hollywood!

Punctuation Mark said...

she is absolutely scary... a lesson for any woman about "enough is enough"

Miss Caitlin S. said...

haha awesome, yes Suri is beautiful but I bet she will be a nightmare!!! I love how she looks but I do feel like she needs to wear sneakers a bit more- I hate sneakers myself but at her age, you live in them! And yes about Jocelyn, what in God's name happened to that woman?!?!

Iva said...

I hope you had a great time at the game! :)