Thursday, July 15, 2010

Mass Uncertainty

I've had pretty serious anxiety my entire life. This anxiety is exacerbated when there is serious uncertainty in:

a) MY JOB
We still don't know whether or not my job is being funded for next year, and by "next year," I mean next month! I spoke to someone in one of the San Francisco city supervisors' offices today, and she basically said that it was hopeful--that funding was more promising than they'd originally thought--but that there wouldn't be a final answer for a while. I can hardly bring myself to search for jobs when I want so badly to keep my current job, especially when I think there's a decent chance. So stressful. :(

b) MY LIVING SITUATION
My roommate is moving out at the end of the month, and I have to find a new one pronto. My apartment is way too awesome to leave.

c) ETC.
(Let's just leave it at that). :)


But here are some things I'm happy about:

1. These notecards I got in the mail from sweet Tillie:


Aren't they amazing? Maybe you'll be lucky enough to get one from me. :)

2. My marathon phone conversation with Micaela this evening. Seriously, we talked on the phone for over two hours--till her phone died--and then for another hour on g-chat. I LOVE THAT GIRL! I'm so grateful for our friendship. Micaela and I understand each other implicitly . . . without explanation, without justification, without any hesitation. Every time I talk to her, I feel like I'm experiencing a full-body sigh of relief--like I'm releasing everything I'm thinking and feeling to someone who totally understands every bit of it.

3. Skype. Today I video-chatted with my dear cousin (basically: sister) Jennifer and my auntie Pat via Skype, and I felt so close to my Georgia home. It was my first time using skype! I love it, and am so grateful for modern technology.

And here is that which I'm just not so sure about:


I always thought work out videos were for wusses . . . until The 30 Day Shred. Jillian Michaels inspires fear, loathing, disgust, and excitement within me--all at the same time! Every time she calls Anita or Natalie "buddy" in her gross, smarmy voice, I want to throw my hand weight at the television screen. But at the same time, she gives me a delicious workout in 30 minutes within the cool comfort of my own home. It's your classic love/hate relationship.

20 comments:

Megan said...

Oh I hope everything works out with your job, especially since you are so passionate baout it. My fingers are crossed for you. Those notecards from Tillie are so cool, she is a talented lady. It is so nice that you and Micaela have formed such a beautiful friendship :-) I have skype but I never have it switched on, I think I need to change that.

Farah said...

love the notecards that you got from Tillie. I hope that things work out for you with your job and the apartment. I currently moved into a pretty awesome apartment too and I loathe the thought of moving out.

Good luck Claire! ♥

Marie said...

I LOVE Jillian michael's 30 day shred. I own it myself. I just really hate those girls constantly smiling when I feel like I'm about to die. I hope everything works out with your j.o.b. :)

danielle and dinosaur toes said...

i can understand your anxiety. although i seriously hate the part time job i have (as an advertising sales rep, which is the absolute worst since i'm so shy), i never know how much longer i'll have it since the economy when in the sh*tter a while back. but, if there's one thing i know, it's that things always have a way of working out, and as smart as you are, i'm sure you'll always have a job!

isn't micaela the sweetest? i'm so glad she lives near me so we can be real life friends, too! she's such a genuinely kind person!

Everton Terrace said...

Oh Claire, will pray and put out good thoughts for your job. It is so obvious how much it means to you. Keep the faith.

J. said...

Keeping my fingers crossed regarding your job funding and sending 'good vibes' your way! I hate feeling uncertain about things... it just makes my whole world seem off. Best of luck! XOXO

Micaela said...

I'm praying for your job! i know how passionate you are about what you do and how it changes lives. YOU ARE AMAZING!!!

isn't tillie amazing? i love her little sayings on her fabulous cards! :)

and our phone marathon-- LOVED it! you are SO cute and a dearest friend to me. I AM SO GLAD WE MET! and can talk about anything and everything so freely. You are a gift to me :) and your words here touched my heart because i feel EXACTLY the same way!!!

Lord, i need to do that work out vid.

LOVE YOU!

julianne. said...

oh dear i hope you get things fixed out, and decrease that anxiety! <333

Tangerine Fairy said...

Hope your job situation will work out..I'm sure it will..nice sweet card you received..

Faiza said...

i've got all body parts crossed for your work sitch! HUGS to you!

bananas. said...

JILLIAN!!! fricken LURVE her!!! i do. it's crazy i know. i used to loathe her but now she a'ight.

good luck with the job and roomie situations. i hope everything ends up good for you. have a kick ass weekend love! xoxo.

Diana Mieczan said...

I am keeping my fingers crosses regading your job situation...I really hope you will manage to keep it:) Those cards are so sweet...I adore them and friends are the best!!!!! Its always amazing to have someone who understands us:)
I love skype too.....I cant live without it:) hahaha
Kisses darling and enjoy your weekend...Everything will be great, I promise:)

Annie Cristina said...

I'll keep you in my thoughts & prayers re: your job situation. I know how stressful working in education can be, especially given the current financial situation nationwide. But at least they gave you good news when you called! If their budget is doing better than expected, then that might mean your job is secure. Good luck. *hugs*

ChinkyGirLMeL said...

I'm praying for your job and I have my fingers crossed for you. I hope you get to keep it. Finding a job these days is hard but finding a job that you love is even harder. And about your friend, you are really lucky to have such a friend. Good days are hard to find these days. Have a lovely weekend sweetie.

Heather {A Measure Of...} said...

Aww, dearest! I hope you find out about your job soon! It's hard to be patient, of course, but everything will work out. It's the waiting (etc., and leaving it at that) that is so nerve wracking.

And Skype!!! What FINALLY!!! Now we can talk for free!!!! I'm so excited you're finally on Skypeness. Big love!

Kara said...

I want your liiiife! I hope the uncertainty you're dealing with quits soon though! It sounds like the "Etc" portion isn't so terrible :)

I should get back into working out at home but I'm afraid of my roommate walking in and making total fun!

Fashion, Art and other fancies said...

I trust and hope that everythings works itself out for the bes regarding your job and in finding a suitable flat-mate. Do try and enjoy the weekend;-)

OneCraftyFox said...

Sounds like a lot of things up in the air right now, but change can be a good thing :) Look forward to new opportunities coming of them.

Thanks so much for the nicey on my blog, and have a great weekend!

Marz said...

Micaela couldn't wait to tell me about your fabulous phone date and just gushed about how much she loves you! I'm so thankful that you are in her life!!! :) We talk about you all the time as if you were someone we've know for ages :) I just love connections like that!
I wish I could move in with you and solve your roommate situation!
If I could I would do it in a heartbeat! :) I know that everything will work out for you! You will always have my support! sending you hugs!! xo

Heather Taylor said...

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you on the job situation. I hope everything works out! These are some seriously uncertain times we're living in, but I have faith things work out for people who stay optimistic and work hard. It'll all be okay.