Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Don't be a Bad Parker. Just Don't.

The only time in my life that I don't parallel park is when I go to grocery stores. Otherwise, city living means parallel parking every day, every where you go. I parallel park outside my house, at work, at the coffee shop . . . everywhere.

City dwellers (should) have a collective understanding about parking:

TAKE UP ONE SPACE! If you are parking on a curb that's big enough for two spaces, and you don't know if another car will be able to fit, get back in your car and drive forward or reverse until you are at the front or back of the curb. Another car can fit.

One of these very 2-car-length curbs exists right in front of my apartment. It's prime parking real estate for residents of my building, obvs. The other day, when I came home and some jackass was parked right smack in the middle of it, I had to leave this little note on his/her windshield, courtesy of my stepmom via my Christmas stocking last year:


The picture quality is terrible because I was in my car and all I had with me was my iPhone and I was mad as a hornet! But man, is it convenient to have a pad of fake parking tickets in your glove box. One of the "offenses" you can check is "Owning a Hummer." HA!

What are your pet peeves?

17 comments:

Micaela said...

ha i LOVE this! (Like i love your polka dots)

you know, i hate to admit this but being a small town girl - i have never mastered parallel parking- BUT! you would never have to give me one of these hilarious yet grrr faux tickets because even though i've never mastered it- i just don't do it. LOL isn't that shameful!? like when i was in baltimore exploring the city on my own? i was PRAYING there would be no need to do it or if i had to, i'd have enough room etc. LOL

one of my pet peeves that has to do with driving is when there's construction going on and people KNOW it's been that way for weeks, wait til the last minute to get out of the lane that's closed and expect you to let them in.

grrrr!

April said...

Oh my goodness, that's great. I very rarely parallel park because I live in small town(s) in the south and nearly everything has a huge parking lot, or grass, but sometimes people will take up two spaces in small parking lots, or if they're close spaces. I hate that. Like are really that stupid that you can't park in one space?? That's even been outlined for you.
One of my pet peeves is when people don't text back. I hate itttt. And I also hate when you ask someone what they want to do and they say 'I don't care'. That's only acceptable when you genuinely don't care, and it's usually a lie and they have an opinion, they just don't want to make a decision.

Phoenix Peacock said...

hee hee, I would love to check off owning a hummer for all those "environmentally friendly" hippy yuppies in Boulder who preach preach preach enviro and then get in their dumb hummers

FourJedis said...

My friend and I were just having this same discussion today... Girl, you are in my head, I swear! Some a-hole double parked his Jetta at our work where parking is limited.

My biggest pet peeve is when some jerk speeds to go around me just to stop ahead at a red light. I don't get as POed when my little people aren't in the car, but when they are in the car with me, I blow smoke out of my ears for all of the rednecks who obviously didn't take drivers ed b/c it's not required in this state.

Meghan said...

Oh my gosh, I love that you did this!!! I feel the same way about parking - do it right, or move on! Parking spaces are so valuable in the city!

this free bird said...

I love your mother. Pass the tickets!!! I live at the beach and it's the.exact.same.thing. Sometimes I wanna cry and scream at the same time. Or just kick a tire.

xoxo,
Carrie

J. said...

This is hilarious. LOVE it!! And I'm like Micaela- I just don't do it! :)

PinkLouLou said...

OMG this is hysterical! I just laughed out loud. Can you please do a giveaway and give these away because I need some.

julianne. said...

that is hillariousss.<3

Everton Terrace said...

You are too funny. Have to admit - I cannot parallel park. I live in Phoenix and it's just so rare that you ever have to. It's a huge problem for me when I visit my daughter up in Seattle. You'd probably be leaving me those notes!

Diana Mieczan said...

hahahhaha...so funny..I love that you did this!!!

Kisses,sweetie

ps: I am hosting a great GIVEAWAY, so please join in:)

Faiza said...

giggling! i would have laughed out loud if i was the offender and took it as a lesson for next time. way to go!

bklyn76 said...

how perfect!

Kara said...

Lolz! Amazing. I love those snarky post-it notes with funny things on them. I saw some last night that had boxes where you could mark how urgent the task was, and it had options like "urgent", "hot", "run around screaming", and "the world is on fire!!". Hilarity!!!

Hope the recipient of your gift at least had a humble chuckle :)

Miss Caitlin S. said...

hahah yes i love fake parking tickets because it's really just a way to say check YO SELF! ;) I can't read what you checked as his offense even though i made it big but I really love those. bad parkers suck when you are just trying to get where you need to go... everyone gets so rageful about it haha

Melissa said...

Haha, the "parking citation" is too funny!

Janet Dillon Robinson said...

Hello! I'm new around here :) Found you through "While we're waiting" and love what you have to say. I absolutely NEED these parking tickets! Can't wait to read more.

janetdillonrobinson.blogspot.com