Monday, October 18, 2010

Good weekend + sad day

Does everyone else feel a twinge of guilt when they stay home most of the weekend and watch copious amounts of tv (Saturday = Jersey Shore marathon, Sunday = NFL all day), even if you also take care of all kindsa cooking, laundry, and cleaning business?  I can't help it.  It feels so good to relax and be mellow, but I can't help but think of all the ways in which I could have been . . . adventurous.

Nonetheless, it was pretty delightful; both to allow myself the relaxation time, as well as to get a bunch of letters and packages written & ready, cook some meals for the week (broccoli quinoa casserole & "chicken" noodle soup!), do my laundry, catch up with my sweet cousin, auntie, and Summer on the phone, and straighten up the house . . . all to the sweet smell of a pumpkin spice candle!  Oh, and add "got over my fear of candles" to the list . . . I had an "incident" with a candle when I was 22 that resulted in my arm looking like this:

seven years later, aka today

But then last night came.  I went to bed at a normalish hour (12:30 or so?), and woke up suddenly around 3:30.  My phone was beside my bed, and for some reason, I immediately checked my email on my phone.  I saw that I had an email from my dear friend Marie, and strangely, I had a terrible pit in my stomach . . . Marie emails me regularly, so I don't know why I had such a bad feeling, but I guess intuition is unexplainable.  Her email said that her brother Adam (also, my high school boyfriend's brother; Marie is their sister) had died.  She was so upset in her email, and I was so shocked that I couldn't feel my legs, nor could I go back to sleep for the rest of the night.

I have so many wonderful memories of spending summers with Marie, Adam, and Lucas (and their big brother, Abe, of course).  When I was a teenager, they were like my younger brothers and sister, and I've been with them at weddings, funerals, and everything in between.  Adam was always such a sweet, sensitive boy.

So here I am, sad and zombie-like, at school today.  I told my 2nd period students what happened and to please bear with me.  Please be thinking of their family--it's gonna be a long, hard journey.

28 comments:

Hannah @ The New Black said...

Sorry to hear that. I had a family friend pass away today too andn I know that zombie-like state you speak of. Hope you're dealing with it OK. Hugs to you. ☺

bananas. said...

ouch. that's not the kinda news anyone's ready for...

i'm sorry for your friend's loss. i lost a brother too so i feel her pain.

hang in there. your friend is lucky to have you.

Annie Cristina said...

Oh my goodness, Claire, I'm so sorry. :( *hugs* I'm here if you want to talk.

Ren- Lady Of The Arts said...

Man- I'm sorry Claire.

Diana Mieczan said...

Ohhh I am so very sorry,sweetie
Kisses

drollgirl said...

oh girl, i am so sorry. this is terrible. it is just so awful to receive this kind of news and to try and cope with it. you are a good friend, and you will help her get through this.

~KS said...

Guilty... all the time. Because all I do is watch TV when I should be studying or working. Ehh. I've learned to live with the guilt.
And your arm?!?! I would be afraid of candles too...
And I am sorry to hear about this loss. I will be saying many prayers for Adam's family....

this free bird said...

oh claire. that's the worst. the candle incident of course, but the loss of your friend's brother. hang in there dear friend. will keep their fam and you in my prayers.

xoxo,
carrie

Hiking in Stilettos said...

Claire, I am so sorry to hear such sad news. You and the family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

jeanette from everton terrace said...

Claire, I'm so very sorry. Such tragic and sad news. Praying for you all at this terrible time.

Leesh said...

Sorry to hear your bad news. I feel for you and your friend. I lost my younger brother too in 2008. I know what it's like to be numb and not even know what hour it is. I know it's so cliche and everyone says it but time does heal the pain. I thought people were just telling me that because it's the common thing to say but it's so true. I'm here if you need someone to listen. You and your friend are in my thoughts.

Marcie said...

Oh I am so sorry for that loss. There comes a time in our life when we start losing people and it becomes so sad and strange all at the same time. I will be thinking of you and keeping him in my prayers.

xo M

bklyn76 said...

oh claire, i'm so very sorry.

on a side note, i saw some adorable *C* notecards today and thought of you.

danielle and dinosaur toes said...

i'm so, so sorry. i'm always bad at saying the right thing, but just know i'll be thinking of you.

xo

Indie.Tea said...

O, how sad...poor family...

Micaela said...

I am SOOO heartbroken for marie and you, and her family :( my heart hurts. I will keep you all in my prayers :(

i had no idea you had you had such a scar! (though you should know i think scars are sexy)

i miss youx

Katie said...

Oh my, I'm soo sorry :(

Kara said...

Ok, seriously, that is from a CANDLE?!

Sending out prayers for your friends. That's tragic news :(

Erin said...

Oh dear, what horrible news. I'm so sorry for your friend's loss, and for yours as well. I'm thinking of you.
xo

Phoenix Peacock said...

oh my darling, I'm sending you hugs. love you

Seedplanter Designs said...

Found your blog this evening and I'm so sorry about your friends. Those type of friendships are unusually rich--a blessing we never forget.

Krystal said...

I'm so sorry to read this, death is always such a shocking thing. I have warm thoughts going out to you.
~ Village

Poppies and Sunshine said...

I am so sorry to hear of your sadness. I hope you find peace as well as all the family and friends involved.

Krystal said...

aw, thanks for your fun comment about el vintage, glad you like!! it is too much!

Teenage Bride said...

I am keeping all of you in my prayers today

passport in my pocket said...

I'm so sorry to hear the news... the family (and you) will be in my prayers.


I can't believe that candle incident! craziness.

Café Bellini said...

Oh I am so sorry to hear that. Strange how that works... that you just woke up and sort of knew...

Jude said...

I am so very sorry to hear. I lost a dear family member this year and this resonates a lot - sending many good wishes in this hard time.