Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Guest Post #2 (This is getting awkward)

This is getting awkward...

I got up with the sun this morning.  I took a train far away. I'm literally riding wild horses, eating beans out of a can, and singing on prairies. i'm yodeling on plateaus and making peace with mother nature. i'm a cowboy and i wear boots. i did bring my iphone 4 though.  Claire has been texting me saying people are responding positively to my first guest post.. lots of encouraging and fun words.  "Claire, great guest post". "funny stuff". "legit"

this is embarrassing for me because we all know that Claire went out on a limb to have a guest poster on bicoastally.  so as fans, you kinda feel compelled to support the guest post.  i'm like the bowler who has pads in the lanes.  (i even brought my own ball and bag and still bowled a 67) and maybe even training wheels on my adult tricycle.  well godspeed to you all.  fucking roses on a tuesday. big fun red ones on your desk as you bump "toot it and boot it" on your laptop working on spreadsheets, and order forms and marketing packages.  (i know roses, so cliche..but they are neglected nowadays and i want to keep up with my theme of mentioning flowers..tiny angels from heaven. perfectly shaped. perfectly formed)

on another note I have two topics of the day.  Man Diapers and Protective Alcohol Gear

Man Diapers:  sometimes i am literally so lazy that i can't even get out of bed to go to #1. is it so shameless to wear a man diaper?  i wouldn't wear it all day...and it would be designed to be comfortable for an adult, regardless of saturation.  they could come in different styles, shapes and colors.  somehow become party chic. work chic.  entrepreneurial chic. i really want to wear it in public.  bend over at a department store and have people see the edges of it as if i was a teen baller who was sagging..look back and be like "what?'.. wear it to bars and holiday parties and wholeheartedly sell the idea without flinching or any shame..

Protective Alcohol Gear:  Lets be honest Claire loves shoes, babies and wine. and people and the arts and care of course, but lets stick with the big 3..A. i've told her she needs to wear solid athletic shoes. like the totally blase ones nurses wear. all white reeboks or something.  solid framework. good athletic support..traction etc..heels are dangerous when partying...and with what happened in napa with her tooth and lip is it too much to ask for her to party in Protective Athletic Gear?  elbow pads, knee pads, face mask..light weight helmet..and of course solid shoes.. potentially channelling Mike Myers in SNL without the chocolate all over his face and in sensitive taste.  i even went further to say that maybe it could always be halloween for her and she could dress up as a New Orleans Saint.  and just tell people she can't get over halloween and her saints..they would shake their head maybe, but go on with the night, and Claire would be safe in the process...Perfect! or even go a step further and she could have a fake doctor near by who could tell people she has a degenerative memory lapse with certain holidays and its important to play along that it is in fact halloween again tonight.

IDK.
and who's with me that French Toast sounds AMAZING right now? its been so long since i've had it / made it.  i learned how to make it in college and made it so often. its so easy. an egg, some cinammon...milk..bread..syrup..butter..So FUUUUUN!!

ok everybody thanks for your kindness, have a great day! life is good!

Summer has passed, Fall is here
Everyone get ready for some Holiday cheer

14 comments:

this free bird said...

this is probably the best guest post i've ever read. you had me at Man Diapers (being a depends lover and all).

however claire in a helmet is close second. i strongly advised the same. helmets and heels may possibly be the next trend.

i just can't quiet embrace a white reebok though. all the rest - brilliant.

J. said...

Just so you know, Eric- when I deem something "legit" it IS "legit." I don't toss around that L word often and without meaning! :)

starnes family said...

I'll have what he's having. (wearing my SAS shoes, of course for protection)

Kara said...

HAHAHAHAHA....Claire in athletic shoes?!

Jude said...

Hahaha, I canNOT get the vision of man diapers out my head now! Claire (and Eric), what have you wrought?! :)

heather yalin said...

OK you guys are flowers! Can't wait to meet such a genuine rose.

Diana Mieczan said...

ahaha..I love this...man diapers? hahha..:)
Kisses and enjoy your day

Micaela said...

will you send me some tiny angels from heaven?!

i agree on getting claire some trainers (as the Brits call them!) ... christmas maybe? her chipped tooth was UNREAL! lol but i told her we'd giggle about it later :)

oh and while you're sending roses, please send some french toast.

thanks!

since i'm from Texas, i do like me a cowboy! points claire, points.

Ren- Lady Of The Arts said...

Haha- This is too funny- Guest posts with funny guests rock- as do diapers cuz it would be a shit load of a mess without them.

Signe said...

Hihi, very funny post :)

FourJedis said...

Wow, you are too legit to quit!

Back in the days of courtship, my husband's friends thought I was cool enough to let in on a little secret of theirs. They had planned a man event called diaper day where were going to sit around all day eating wings, drinking beer, and wearing a diaper. You accumulated points as your diaper accumulated things that diapers accumulate and the first person to take off their diaper would lose points.

Thanks the good Lord up above that this day never occurred. And I am not sure I would be able to look my husband in the face again had it. Ignorance is sometimes bliss.

Faiza said...

from man diapers to poetry. this boy has got skills.

Bella @Bellgetsreal said...

Man diaper- haha Brillant post...

Thanks for the game ideas. I have apples to apples but so want to try the loaded question game you mentioned.

Gabby said...

And I'm dying of laughter...I think the protective gear is a brilliant idea and I could use some as well :)