Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Spring Break + My Mama = Hiking!

I've been totally MIA from all things internet and blog related during my mama's visit, but that's A-OK cause we had so much fun! We probably walked 20 miles while she was here, most of which occurred in gorgeous locations . . . here's the rundown:

Friday night: Picked her up from the airport and went to Burma Superstar (yum!). During the wait, we ran to Marc 49 and had a glass of wine (i.e. she had a 3 wine flight and I had San Pellegrino). We ate samosa soup and rainbow salad and greens and it was delicious!

Saturday: Woke up and went to the Berkeley farmers market, had some coffee, hiked at the Lafayette Reservoir, bought some books, came home and cooked some ridiculously good fresh hand-made pasta (Meyer Lemon and Chili linguini) from the farmers market with swiss chard, broccoli, red pepper, garlic, and onion (whoa), and then entertained several of my fabulous friends.

Sunday: Made a quick pit stop at Bakesale Betty's for some scones/cookies/banana bread and headed up to Casa de Milo & Family (where Jeannette & Freeman met us) so my mama could meet the babies I love so much (and their parents!). JJ (Milo's dad) made us a wonderful breakfast, which we ate on their back patio overlooking a lake and Mount Tamalpais, and my little baby friends were as cute as ever. I love how Freeman says "Miloooooo." After brunch, we went to Muir Woods and did a rigorous, beautiful redwood hike, stopped at Mollie Stone's to pick up some veggies for dinner, and then came home and ate while watching the Sex and the City movie. A pretty dang perfect day.

Monday: Woke up early and met Gaela at Land's End, hiked down to Sutro Baths/Cliff House and back, then had lunch at Calzone's in North Beach (where Cathy's brother hooked us up with all kinds of scrumptious food from the kitchen). I had a swiss chard calzone, which in combination with the pasta from Saturday and Sunday nights, meant that I probably ate 3 heads full of chard over the weekend. After lunch, Mama and I went to the Marina and walked allllllll over, peeking in stores and enjoying what turned out to be a lovely, sunny, breezy day. Around 4:30 pm we drove to Golden Gate Park and walked to (and around) Stow Lake, which is always beautiful, and then were thoroughly exhausted when we got back to the car around 6. We stopped and picked up some burritos (to complete the Northern California experience) and headed home.

Today I drove her by Balboa on the way to the airport, which rounded out the trip . . . I'm sad to see her go, but it was such a fun time!

Here are some pics:

Mama on a rock on one of our beautiful hikes

Mama and me in Muir Woods

Sunday evening at Stinson Beach

in a giant, ancient redwood tree!

And now back to my normal, superbusy schedule.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

5th Period Today in 3 Parts:

1.
I walk into class to see two students throwing a condom back and forth at each other. Said condom is not in its wrapper.

2.
As I'm reading the journal question aloud:
MP: "Ms. Kiefer, can I step outside? I need to fart."
me: "Seriously? Fine, hurry up. It takes about 2 seconds."
GM: "I need to too."
ZT: "Me too."
me: (wtf?)

3.
A conversation:
me: "Listen up, I have an update about our fundraising project . . . see, San Francisco Unified School District has a policy about nutrition, so we aren't going to be able to sell cupcakes to raise money. We got an email today about--"
MP: "Ms. Kiefer you go to the club?" (commences dancing in his seat)
me: "Ummm . . . so the SFUSD policy mandates that we only distribute healthy food. Obviously cupcakes don't qualify. So either we have to--"
MP: "Naw fo real you go to the club?"
me: " . . . I'd like to focus on our Children of Incarcerated Parents Bill of Rights event. We either need to have our bake sale outside of school, or we need to sell something really healthy."
GM: "How about we sell yogurt parfaits?"
me: "That's a great idea, G. And we could actually probably make a better profit from yogurt parfaits if we buy the supplies at Costco."
ZT: "Or we could could just get Larry from 33rd St. to steal them for us."

Uh, yeah. That's a fantastic idea.

But after I left the little monsters today, I got to come see two of my favorite little boys, and guess who's on my lap right now?

baby Judebug, 3 weeks old

And my mama comes tomorrow, yay!!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I Guess I Have a Type

but most of us already knew that. I just can't help it, I love this guy:


(For those of you not in the know, Andrew is one of this season's American Idol contestants). I love his sweet croon, his bad-ass-nice-guy swagger, and the fact that he cries when he's overcome with emotion. :) My friend Jason thinks he looks like a furby, which I guess is pretty true, but that just makes him all the more adorable. No one loved last night's rendition of Heard it Through the Grapevine, but I voted for him like a zillion times so he'll be cool, I'm sure. ;) Who is everyone else rooting for?




Happy middle-of-the-week, and wish me luck with the hardest poem assignment I've received in years . . .

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Worth a Thousand Words

Some pictures from this San Francisco weekend:

Saturday started with this conversation:
me: "Freeman, love you!"
F: "Gaga."
He remains obsessed. His dad even let him watch the Telephone video . . . watch out!

After Freeman and I were rejected at the door of the California Academy of Sciences for arriving three minutes after they stopped letting people in, we went and picked up my friend Doro and some sandwiches from Bi Rite and headed to Dolores Park (where, incidentally, the rest of San Francisco was). Here they are chasing each other. :)


Me and my littlest bff, wearing his hipster stripes, in the park . . .

Delighted little F.

On Sunday morning, we took my dear student JH to brunch at the Beach Chalet for her 18th birthday! We did not partake in the $5 bottomless mimosas, but certainly intend to return post-Easter and sans-student.

Happiest birthday J!

After brunch, Gaela and I hiked Land's End (after gazing at Robin Williams's old house and the house Suri Cruise is reported to be moving into). I took this picture along our hike . . . seriously, I live in the most gorgeous place in the country. Note the Golden Gate Bridge in the background.

I mean seriously, right? So beautiful.

And now, concluding this weekend of sunshine, I'm sitting with Gaela at Bazaar Cafe drinking a soy latte and "working" (we know how that goes). All this plus my little mama's impending visit and some sweet, late-night conversations with my far-off rugby player made this weekend pretty near perfect. Hope yours was the same!


Thursday, March 18, 2010

Lovelies


People who are NOT Jerkfaces:
1. My sweet friend Amanda who left a lovely, kind, generous note in my mailbox this morning. This kind of support/encouragement really makes the bad things better. I have a wall in my office at school for sweet notes/thank yous/etc. and it gets me through the day often, for realz.
2. Gaela, who helped me through my wallet crisis by calling the last place I used it/double checking my office/calming me down/etc.
3. My neighbor Leslie, who gave me toll money to get over the bridge this morning since I had no wallet/cash/debit card to get money out thanks to the Wallet Thief of March 2010! :(
4. My student CM, who brought me a large coffee yesterday morning when I was running late (even though I ended up spilling it on my white dress).
5. My family:

me, mama, and sis in mama's kitchen


me, daddy, and sis in cabo san lucas

7. The Cobraz (my Wednesday poetry girls, Ali and Diana) and my far-off poetry princess, Heather (who is currently living in Chile with her husband). Did I mention I really just have the prettiest friends? In any case, thanks to them, I've been writing so much more lately and it feels gooooooood.
8. Everyone who stands up for social justice and condemns that Mississippi school's cancelation of prom as WACK HOMOPHOBIA. You know, our school is so awesome that we specifically have a clause in our "appropriate prom attire" letter that clearly states that there are no gender expectations as far as who wants to wear dresses/suits. Fortunately, I've seen all kinds of articles, facebook groups, and media attention to this story, which makes me believe that this egregious and hateful prejudice is now a regrettable anomaly and not the norm.

♥ ♥ ♥

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Jerkfaces


People who are Jerkfaces:
1. The person who stole my wallet out of my purse (in my office!) at school today;
2. The women who, after our thorough demonstration about appropriate prom attire to the junior and senior girls today, argued that there's nothing wrong with our teenage girls wearing micromini dresses and garter belts;
3. The school officials in Mississippi who canceled prom because their high school student, Constance McMillen, wanted to bring her girlfriend as a date;
4. The OTHER person who stole my wallet out of my purse last June.

breathebreathebreathe.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

California

Sure, our cost of living is among the highest in the country. And yes, I am essentially as far away from my family in Georgia as I could be (while still living in the U.S.). But damn, it's pretty here . . . ladies and gentlemen, this is where I exercised today:

Lafayette Reservoir

It's only 10 minutes from my house (and 2 from my friend Missy's house, so she often joins me!), and I hike there regularly on the weekends. It's a short jaunt (only about 3 miles) but is hilly enough to get my heart rate up and pump me with endorphins. Or is that the gorgeous view??

The weather was essentially perfect this weekend. Sunny, breezy, splendid! This is what I did all weekend:

Girlshop:
Friday night my grad school girlies and I got together for some dinner/wine/poetry (btw: only 3 more weeks till my wine-fast is up!). Geri made a delicious southern meal (soup with greens, potatoes, veggie sausage, and cornbread croutons; macaroni & cheese), and it was great to laugh and talk and read with the girls.

Babies:
Saturday I got up bright and early and went to visit the sweet Freitags and their two adorable baby sons. Here's Milo holding his 10 day old baby brother Jude:

when Milo was over holding Jude he said, "bye bye baby!"


baby Jude at 10 days old

Shopping:
I left the Freitags' at noon, but it was too gorgeous to go home, so I drove up to Sonoma County and sauntered around the Petaluma Outlets. I ordered the prettiest BCBG Runway dress for prom!!! (I am so incredibly excited about prom, btw. I LOVE high school!). While the dress is very predictably Claire, the next thing I purchased was not . . .

I bought some flats, y'all.

Figuring it was time to acknowledge my chronic back pain, I purchased some cute little black moccasins. But don't expect to see them often! They're my "my-back-is-killing-me" shoes . . . don't for a second think I'm saying goodbye to my heels. But at least I have some comfy flats now! I'll spare you a picture of them (since they really are just black moccasins, which you can easily picture), and instead post a pic of the GORGEOUS gold Kate Spade flats I encountered at Off Saks 5th Avenue. Despite their discount, they were still way outta my price range:

but aren't they pretty?

Outdoorsing:
Sunday being equally beautiful, I met Anna and Stephen for an outdoor brunch (I was a little jealous of Anna's grapefruit-and-sparkling-wine concoction, but everything else was delicious nonetheless) and then did the aforementioned pretty hike.

How was everyone else's weekend??

Friday, March 12, 2010

Dear Ms. Kiefer, I am Sorry for My Behavior


I know what I said was bad against girls. I knew that it was also bad because i said i get more pussy then Zach because there was females in the room. The girls in the room probely felt disrespected. Next time i will not say i get more pussy then Zach.

MP

Thursday, March 11, 2010

White People are So Serious about their Music.

Happy Birthday to my friend Miss Amanda Bowen who turns thirty today. It's such a year of turning 30 for so many of the lovely ladies in my life. It's funny cause of course it's just another year, but there's so much pressure around 30! Gotta do such-and-such before I turn 30, gotta be in some-specific-place in my life before I turn 30, etc. I have another year and a half till the big 3-0 . . . but I totally already feel some of the heat. In any case, last night we all went to Lucky 13 on Market St. for drinks (seltzer + lime for Claire) and then headed over to the lovely Cafe Du Nord to see Laura Veirs (who performed 8 months pregnant!!). Cafe Du Nord might be my favorite place in San Francisco to see live music . . . it's cozy and dark and charming, but also a little bit indulgent (red velvet couches, a decent food menu). Here are the only pics I got:

what's a party without cupcakes?

singin' to the birthday girl

Take note of Amanda's exquisite jacket. It's my favorite article of her clothing! You know, come to think of it, maybe all the anxiety around turning 30 has to do with the fact that by the time they were 30, my parents had a house, a business, and two (darling!) daughters. :) At 28, I have a (rented) apartment with a broken ceiling, 80K of student loans, and have yet to sustain a successful relationship. ha! But hey--I've had lots of adventure in my life, I have tremendous friends, and some really gorgeous pairs of shoes. ;)

But man are white people serious about their music. Last night all the glasses-clad indies were silently taking in Laura Veirs's pretty melodies, while Meagan, Curtis, and I were goofing off and cracking jokes about the Tallest Man in the World standing in front of us (Curtis: "The Statue of Liberty in front of me? Sucks.). After several reprimanding looks, I started to feel like one of my ill-behaved students, so we scampered back to join the rest of our crew at the bar and listened from further back. I ♥ my peeps.

In other news, a big loud F$@! YOU to the punk-ass robbers who broke into my sister's apartment last night and stole EVERYTHING! They took their brand new tv, my brother-in-law's TWO computers, the Wii that Dad and I got them for Christmas, Andy's camera & camera equipment (he's a photographer!), and all kinds of other stuff, plus scared the living daylights out of their new Great Dane puppy (it's gonna be okay, Leon!). SO MEAN! I'm trying to find a positive way to release my rage . . . I am so compassionate toward criminals until they mess with my sister. :|

In better news: Anthony, one of my bffs, got into Berkeley Law School, which is a) awesome for him, cause damn that's hard to get into. smarty-pants!, and b) awesome for me if I can convince him to go there. I'll save singing the East Bay's praises for another post.

Yikes, there's the bell for 5th period. Say some Our Fathers/Hail Marys for me as shit is likely about to go down. But it's almost Friday, y'all!

XOXO.

Monday, March 8, 2010

The Best Runway Show of the Year:

the Oscars! Now, as I'm sure I've already indicated, I'm not so much a movie person, and I hadn't seen a single film that was Oscar-nominated. Not even Precious, which was based on one of my all-time favorite books. I definitely couldn't care less about all the technical awards, but to be honest, I'm not even really invested in the big awards, except for political-ish feelings like being proud that a female director won, and excited that a movie like Precious got recognition.

That said, I get nearly giddy waiting for the beloved Academy Awards, so excited for the glamour and couture and satin that will inevitably be on display. I play little games with myself: Who will have the best dress? Can I guess who designed that dress before the actress reveals it to the pre-show interviewers? Will the dresses I hate the most be on the "Worst Dressed" lists the next day?

My favorite gown, by a landslide, was Miss Rachel McAdams's strapless Elie Saab beauty. I've been thinking about it all day . . . bandagey up top, perfectly fitted to the waist, and then flowing into something reminiscent of an exquisite watercolor painting. Here it is:


It's pretty bold to wear a print to the Oscars, and I seriously applaud that well-taken risk. Speaking of prints, I nod an Honorable Mention to Maggie Gyllenhaal's gown (and another toDemi Moore's pretty, perfectly-fitted dress).

Let's move onto the heinous:


WTF is that hot mess, seriously??? I can't stop wondering at what point Zoe Saldana looked at that dress and thought, "That's the one!" Wow. Those look like humongous plastic Hawaiian leis at the bottom. That woman is WAY too pretty to be wearing this tragedy. It almost seems like she did it as a prank. Which come to think of it might be pretty funny.

Today our 6-week grades were due, which means that I stayed in my office furiously catching up on grades until 6:45 pm. Ugh. It's pretty depressing when you finally leave work and it's pitch dark. Which then meant that I was so drained when I got home that I frittered away two whole, valuable hours watching Jason & Molly's Wedding on tv. I mean, seriously? Another televised Bachelor wedding? What's worse is that I actually got all emotional when Jason saw Molly at the end of the aisle and took a big gulpy breath and then started to cry . . . I'm so lovehungry that even cheesy nonsense like the freakin' Bachelor gets me going.

But is it too much to ask to want a man who will gulp and tear up at the sight of his bride in her dress? My romantic heart just can't be quieted, I guess. ;)

Friday, March 5, 2010

Hey, Jude!

Although I don't have too much luck with the grown boys these days (ugh), I sure am the luckiest girl in the world when it comes to baby boys! One of my favorite toddlers, Hurricane Milo, is officially a big brother! Jude Bradley Freitag was born Wednesday at 7:50 pm, a perfect little 8 lb. 19 inch ball of cuteness:

baby Jude, not even 24 hours old yet :)

baby Jude and auntie Claire

He's lookin' just like Milo, so we'll see if he ends up with Milo's . . . "energy." haha. I'm so happy for all the Freitags--they're one of my favorite families in the world. Welcome, Jude!

Today started slow, and then sped up real quick when it came time for 5th period. Ay yay yay, the dreaded 1 o'clock in room 102. Seriously, the security guards at Balboa know to be on alert & nearby my classroom. In today's episode of "Monster High," I had to kick two of the little beasts out after they refused to cease with their 'yo mama' battle. I mean, hello 1992!! One of whom subsequently stormed out of the class screaming at me: "F@!% this weak a$$ class anyway! GET A MAN!"

HA! ZT, of "Toby" fame, told me to "get a man" . . . which although frustrating at the time, is admittedly freaking hilarious. In fact I'm kind of smirking thinking about it now.

Okay so in order to get me in a better mood before my girly dinner-and-a-movie date with Annie (ohhhhhh how I wish it was dinner-and-a-movie-and-cocktails . . . Lent, hurry up and be over already!!), I'm gonna post some Friday favorites:


Favorite Shoes:
the Dior Chacha


Favorite Photographer:
Sally Mann


Where I Wanna Be:
the Ritz Carlton Grand Cayman!!!

ha! but don't I deserve it??? :)

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Save our Schools!

Those of you who live here know about the savage budget crisis in California, and the $22 billion budget cut to education that our beloved governor is enacting. 900 San Francisco Unified School District educators are expected to receive layoff notices on March 15 . . . our schools are in crisis! It's incredible to me that education would even be considered as a recipient of a massive budget cut. Our kids already have huge classes, not enough resources, a dearth of supplies and paraprofessionals, and a slowly depleting array of arts programs. Meanwhile, Schwarzenegger is building a $400 million new death row at San Quentin. Meanwhile, our state is ranked #1 in per-inmate (per year) spending, and #46 in per-pupil (per year) spending. Meanwhile, huge corporations and oil companies received $2 billion in tax breaks last year. WTF.

All that said, it was so inspiring and energizing to see the THOUSANDS of students, teachers, parents, and concerned Californians rallying at City Hall today. How can our government possibly let down our kids?? Here are some pics from this afternoon:

protestors on the steps of City Hall

the M twinnies, me, and DH

my interest in this one is pretty clear

how could Arnold say no to this?

right . . . cause he's The Terminator . . .

I'm so proud of my students and of students all over San Francisco for standing up for their education rights. Damn straight, kiddos!

Tonight I got the cutest message from one of my 5th period hellions. It said:

My mom doesn't noe i hav my fon Ms. Kiefer . . . plz dnt tell her . . . just wanted to noe if your ok . . . i heard about some arrestz that were made . . .

(Some of that, btw, is just wack text abbreviations, and not egregious spelling errors). ;) Pretty dang cute . . .

Today's protest had me thinking about kids who grow up in San Francisco. What a life, really. Even the underprivileged ones, despite lacking necessary resources, are growing up in this amazing, beautiful city dedicated to social justice and equality. They live in a city that has gorgeous weather almost all the time, Golden Gate Park, several beaches (cold, but so pretty nonetheless), art programs everywhere, and just so much love and openness.

This is not to say that I don't have endless love and nostalgia for my southern upbringing of front porches, sweet tea, and classic rock. It's just . . . so different.

And with my heart beating mad love for my city, I say goodnight. :)

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Exorcism

So if your roof and ceiling had leaked/crashed in four times in the past year, would you consider it a metaphor or a sign from God/The Universe? I am beginning to suspect that I'm missing a deep, philosophical message.

This morning I woke up at 5:30 am to rain dripping from my ceiling onto my bed. I called my landlord immediately (awaking him, I am sure) and sent in emergency lesson plans for a substitute, since I had to stay home to do damage control and wait for the landlord and roofer to arrive. This is what my ceiling looks like right now as I am typing:


Looks awfully familiar, huh? Probably because this is the fourth time this has happened in the same spot above my bed. Gaela thinks I need to rearrange my room, which I'm willing to give a shot, but it seems to me that there's something far more serious than bad feng shui going on here . . .

I think it might be time to try to exorcise all things negative! Any tips on ridding oneself of literal and metaphorical demons? Because it seems to me that the first step in getting rid of bad things is to acknowledge them (0r is that just a ouija board/preteen seance myth?), here is my official, beseeching list:

1. Ceiling Demon, please go away! I don't know whether you represent the Water-trying-to-put-out-my-Fire, or are symbolizing the deluge that has pummeled my life these past few months, but please allow my roof to be properly fixed so that me and my pretty satin quilt can stay dry!

2. I need a new roommate, as Ji is moving out April 1st. Does anyone know of a lovely soul seeking a bedroom in an expansive, amazing apartment in north Oakland with laundry and a little garden? It's cheap! And I'm a nice girl! Loneliness and anxiety begone.

3. Arnold Schwarzenegger, I never say the word "hate" . . . but I find you despicable! How dare you cut California's education budget by $22 billion, all the while spending millions on a new death row at San Quentin? How dare you allow 900 educators and supporters in the San Francisco Unified School District alone to lose their jobs next year? What an incredible disservice to our state's children. If not in our young people, where on earth are your priorities? (If you live in California, please join us tomorrow for the March 4 Rally for Education).

4. Ex-orcism Playlist:
(I can't help but to attach music to all the important people and events in my life. Because my relationships have been particularly tumultuous lately, I'm taking a break from dating and expelling these particular demons in the form of a Farewell Exes! playlist).

Tragedy (Emmylou Harris)--JPM
Do What You Have to Do (Sarah McLachlan)--JPM
Nobody's Girl (Bonnie Raitt)--CP
These Days (Jackson Browne)--CP
Case of You (k.d. lang)--MKM
If I Ain't Got You (Alicia Keys)--MKM
To Be Alone with You (Sufjan Stevens)--DC
Nigerian Afrobeat (Fela Kuti)--AJG
La Belle et Le Bad Boy (MC Solaar)--AJG
Trapeze Swinger (Iron & Wine)--AJG
Almost Lover (A Fine Frenzy)--DAT
How Sweet (Leona Naess)--DAT
Party in the USA (Miley Cyrus)--EWA
Where is My Love (Cat Power)--JRH

*with a special addendum of Ball and Chain (Anthony Hamilton) for CML, my long lost bff.

Onto happy things!

Things I love right now:

1. Junot Diaz, I love you. I love you and everything you write. I am halfway through Drown and am reminded of how brilliant you are and how I will soak up everything you write forever.

2. Freeman & Milo:

baby F on 4th of July, 2009


video
Milo at dinnertime a couple weeks ago

3. My student DR. Yesterday he and I were working on his "flashover" poem (we read this incredible article from the New Yorker about Cameron Todd Willingham, a man executed in Texas in 1994 for a crime that fire experts are now proving he did not commit--it dealt with arson and murder, and detailed the scientific concept of flashover, the moment radiant heat meets the flame and the fire bursts out of control--so I asked them (and myself) to write a poem about flashover, comparing it to a metaphorical "flashover," or moment all hope was gone, so to speak, in their lives). DR was comparing fire's flashover to the beginning of Hurricane Katrina, and with my prodding, was doing an excellent job with imagery. His first stanza:

Rainstorm gone wild--
trees ejected from the ground,
houses crushed by water,
a car flies through the air
and plants someone into a wall
Here's our convo:

me: D, we want to create a strong, concrete image that the reader can visualize, so create a scene for us. Who did the car plant into the wall? "Someone" is too vague.
DR: (thinking) . . . Bob?
me: (giggling) Welllllll, I mean, you could say "Bob," but that might make the poem seem a little bit funny. The tone of the rest of the poem so far isn't funny. How about "a child," or "a father," or "someone's sister" or something?
DR: (thinking) . . . Would "John" seem a little more serious?

Ha! SO CUTE! I love them. The "squeaky wheel" theory means that I constantly whine about my 5th period monsters, and that I never talk about how incredibly sweet my 2nd period kiddos are. They're wonderful and adorable and make me laugh and smile big every day.

4. Blue Bottle Coffee. And for now, back to my 3rd cup, and my attempt at writing the "love poem" that is due to my girls' poetry workshop in my living room tonight. :)

Monday, March 1, 2010

Facebook Status Updates are Hilarious

Disclaimer: I intend for the following post to merely be a humorous reflection on status updates, and not a personal indictment of anyone . . . I hope no one feels implicated, as my only intention is to talk about how incredibly funny some people's status updates are . . .

Have y'all seen those funny little op-ed's about the different types of Facebook status updates? I've read a couple of them, recognize most of the types, and think that the best examples of them are riotously funny. Here are some stock types of status updates I regularly see among my Facebook friends:

1. My baby has been napping for an hour and 40 minutes!!!
I mean, admittedly, I adore babies and frequently want to hear all the ridiculous details about my friends' babies. I want to buy clothes for them, and hold them, and read books to them, and hear about when they reach milestones (their first words, when they start walking). However, these mundane baby status updates are pretty hilarious in their . . . utter irrelevance to everyone in the world except perhaps the baby-in-question's parents. :)

2. 4 mile run in 38 minutes!
I can't tell if these updates are an attempt at bragging, or if the perpetrators of this type of update are just using Facebook as an exercise log.

3. Facebook User is bored.
And apparently writes boring status updates.

4. I really hope that some people who are SO inconsiderate and don't even bother communicating how they feel come to realize how hurtful they are . . .
Oh man . . . these poor souls write this vague status update for 724 "friends" to read, but really they only intend it for the one offender about whom they are writing. Who may never even see this particular status update. Bless their hearts.

5. Don't even get me started on East Coast fools who write tv-spoilers for us West Coasters who are three hours earlier! Jason Andersen, I'm talkin' to you! :) I beseech you, ESTers: Don't tell me whether Jake picks the skipper or the skank in your status update this evening! I won't know until 1 am your time! ;)

Someone should really do a status update experiment and type things like "had a one-night stand with my boss last night . . . he has some issues with impotence," or "had fun with the faucet in the bath tub tonight" . . . at least they'd be more interesting than so-and-so is bored. ;)

Also, how do y'all feel about being friends with your exes on Facebook? I'm "friends" with most of mine . . . some of them don't bother me, Facebook is constantly "recommending" that I "reconnect" with others (ugh), one de-friended me as soon as his wife joined facebook, and another, whom I only recently became friends with, is tagged in pictures almost daily . . . and my masochistic curiosity forces me to look at all of them (and subsequently analyze with what meaning his arm is draped around some girl, etc.). Is it worth it??

In other news, check out the beautiful daffodils Diana gave me last week--they've finally bloomed and they're so lovely!! AND she brought them to me in a Mason jar, which reminds me of home. I love Diana! AND daffodils!